april 12th - loneliness never leaves youbeing alone
isn't always enjoyable solitude.
it's a blackhole of inescapable suffering.
and once you're lonely once, it never leaves.
you're not lonely all the time,
but when you are
that loneliness never leaves you.
april 11th - nature's paletteoh lovely color.
a painting of warmth,
using nature's fiery palette.
nearly every color in the book,
and sweet-smelling too.
and finally, the rainbow:
our symbol of what colors are.
a combination of seven,
but an invitation to so many more.
answer me this.
if nature's diversity of colors
are accepted without question.
they don't hurt anybody,
they don't make something more beautiful than another.
(because who's really to say
that the daylight
is lovelier than the dusk.)
but if nature's choice of paint
can go without being questioned,
why should our color,
be treated any differently?
(because color is
never a choice
but a beauty.)
april 10th - this is an invitationthis is a greeting
to all the lovely misfits
who never felt like they belonged.
sure, you made it by,
with a few enemies,
and fewer friends.
but you never exactly fit in,
and that's beautiful.
please stay beautiful.
this is a message
to those bullied,
neglected and alone.
you may feel alone now,
but trust me.
you will find people who understand.
so please don't ever give up.
because even though you might not love yourself,
i swear to god that there's someone out there who does.
you just need to wait for them to find you.
this is a warning
to those taking life for granted,
and acting as if it will be this way forever.
please take a look at the people; your friends, your family.
please remind them how much you love them, while you still can.
remember every detail,
every little quirk,
before it will never be seen again,
because i know you'll miss it with your life.
this is a sign,
to those who cannot be heard.
april 9th - butterfliesbutterflies are beautiful,
in nearly every single way.
the cycle of their life,
everything about them is perfect.
you would think that they'd be the nicest of all creatures.
all sweet and soft and cutesy.
lovable and gentle in every way.
well if that's the case.
then why do they hurt so much
when they're trapped inside my stomach.
april 8th - to: youso... hi.
i know we got off on the wrong foot last year.
i know we fight a lot as it is.
god, we're really just plain terrible for each other,
i don't know.
i can't help but think that
if you and me;
had to figure out the world together...
i don't know.
i feel like we could make it,
you and me.
somehow, at least.
just as we're finally starting to get close to each other.
just as we're starting to get past our old grudges,
and start a new chapter.
now the worst of all things happens.
and i will never see you again.
of course life splits us up, right??
because life's a total bitch.
and now i don't have any clue what to do.
i didn't think i'd have to say goodbye
for another two years.
i like you.
as a person, i mean.
of course, right?
and a... a friend.
i hate you is really so much easier to say.
i'm sorry i say it to you so much.
it's just that
i secretly hope you know i mean the opposite.
because i do.
april 7th - at its finestoh the precious paradox,
of a swift pen on paper.
writing it's final words with such vigorous life,
you would never have guessed it to be out of ink.
a rose with hidden thorns,
only poison to the prick;
of a touch, getting too close for comfort.
a lovely, deadly rose with a defense mechanism,
against all that is untrustworthy.
the screams of a shadow,
who no one really knows.
invisible to all that is holy,
and tormented by those unruly.
can it see the sun?
but all shadows die when they are blinded with light.
a cigarette butt is dying slowly.
it's jaded wisps of leather smoke
encasing it's owner in a shield of remorse.
wondering when the smoke will stop,
but hoping it'll stay forever.
after all, smoke is a shield of deceit.
by and by, we meet a young flower.
pollen like silk,
calling all the sweet bees to its fabric.
perfect to the petal, in every way.
who would have ever fathomed
that a pertly, bright young bloom,
would entangle itself to become
a vile, maliciou
april 6th - four separate waysi. you were the first to not judge me,
when i could so easily have been judged wrong.
it is within that first impression,
that i knew i owed you the world.
not only for accepting me,
when i thought you were much too cool for that.
but for being a watchful eye,
almost too protecting and almost too melodramatic
for your own good.
but it's your seriousness and strong verbiage
that has saved us time and time again.
ii. i can't pinpoint exactly when we met,
or what we said,
or how we even ended up in the same place.
but that's the beauty of it all.
quiet; it is mysterious.
a memory; a memory like that distant relative,
you know it's there,
you just don't have a vision of it.
everything random, with a side of creepiness.
though sometimes blunt,
but always honest,
i remember admiring you for being the most mature,
in a land full of callow juveniles.
iii. ah, the endearing bookworm.
how i'll miss your witty puns.
and for someone who hates puns,
that means a lot in
april 5th - something smallin a world of "go big or go home" where bigger is always better,
it's amazing that the smallest thing we possess,
is the biggest when it comes to worth.
it might be small, seemingly nonexistent,
but somehow, everyone still holds on to that unpretentious, bijou sliver of hope.
april 4th - procrastinationthere's something to be done,
there has to be.
after all, there always is something..
but i can't quite put my finger on it.
i refuse to.
too much fun,
to be had.
too little time,
for both work and play,
in a day.
and what kind of loser,
would choose work,
"i'll start it tomorrow -- for sure."
"there's still a lot of time. it's fine."
but there's not.
"this time i'm not gonna wait til the last minute -- no way."
but i always, always will.
screaming through sleepiness,
working through tears.
making empty promises,
that it'll never happen again.
but it will, it always will,
and i'll always regret.
the play before work,